


Darcy, if there were different universes

by Bellaromanza



Category: 2 Broke Girls, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Darcy Lewis is the fandom bicycle and I love it, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 05:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15942329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellaromanza/pseuds/Bellaromanza
Summary: A number of short fics about how awesome Darcy is. the first one has Max as Darcy but it sort of makes sense.





	Darcy, if there were different universes

In this version of the multiverse-

 

Max was bustling around, wiping counters and tables down in the diner. It was quiet so it was just her, Earl at the cash register and Oleg back in the kitchen. The jingle of the door made her glance up and she smiled as a group of people her age came into the diner, chattering merrily. The man at the back made her freeze and narrow her eyes and she caught the shock in his as he registered her presence.

Grabbing a handful of menus she smiled at the group, herding them to a couple of tables, “Hey guys, here are the menus. Do you know what you want to drink?” Max/Darcy maintained her ‘professionalism’ and took their drink orders before she turned to Coulson and put her hands on her hips.

“Agent Zombie.”

The table stilled at the obvious tension, and the fact that their waitress obviously knew their boss.

“Ms. Lewis, what a surprise to see you,” he said, and winced when he caught the fire in her eyes. Then yelped when Darcy grabbed him by the collar of his leather jacket and yanked him to his feet and began to drag him toward the bathroom.

“Hey!” one of the girls challenged as the table (minus May who smirked at the scene), got to their feet, but Phil waved them off.

“I’m fine! It’s fine!” he said as the door to the bathroom shut behind him and Darcy with a sharp snap.

Earl raised his eyebrows and shrugged, getting to his feet and moseying to the table to grab Max’s order pad. “Let me get your drinks, folks.”

Oleg stuck his head out of the pass-through window, scowling. “Is Max getting some? How is that fair? She yells as me when I try.”

The assorted noises of shock from the table made Earl grin. “Looks like you’re too young for her.”

In the bathroom Darcy had crossed her arms over her breasts and was staring Phil down. “Well, well. Looks like staying dead is passé these days.”

Phil straightened his collar and smiled warily at her. “Yeah, I can’t believe that Bucky Barnes is alive!”

Darcy waved his fanboying away with a sarcastic hand. “You, Bucky, Loki, it’s like death is only a short vacay for the Avenger set. So, Clint and Nat know, right? That you’re alive and are cheating on them?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Phil sighed. “No.”

“Right,” Darcy said briskly, reaching forward to yank him closer by the collar and he manfully suppressed a second yelp because he was a bad ass secret agent.

“SHIELD is dead. HYDRA is slithering around here somewhere so we need to have all of our agents on the same page to keep Tony from jumping off of a ledge without a suit. I don’t care if they’re mutants etcetera. That means no more secrets,” she announced firmly and straightened his collar with brisk movements. “By the way, I see Natasha whenever Thor is in town. So, fix it, Agent Zombie, or I will.”

Her gray eyes were serious, then she smirked, ruffled his hair and shoved him out the bathroom door so hard that he tripped slightly before straightening to see his team staring at them, open-mouthed. Darcy sashayed by him, a finger tip provocatively at the corner of her mouth.

“Nothing happened!” he snapped and stalked over to flop in his chair with a huff.  The younger agents weren’t sure about this woman who’d ruffled their leader so thoroughly.  Darcy gave them a cheeky smile and picked up the pad again.

“So, Agent Zombie, Agent May and baby agents, what do ya wanna eat?”

A chorus of indignant ‘heys’ at the baby agent crack, and ‘who are you?’ and May’s magnificent eyeroll made Phil sigh. He knew he had a lot of explaining to do, to numerous people because he believed Darcy’s threat.

 

 

This universe where Steve isn’t being awkwardly set up with Peggy’s niece.

Darcy was smiling as she headed back to Jane’s lab. She’d just had lunch with Steve in the employee cafeteria and he’d kept her in stiches about the shenanigans that he and Bucky had gotten up to as kids.

She nodded to a couple of junior agents as she walked past. Junior agents usually responded in one of two ways towards her, awe, for working with Jane (and by extension, Bruce and Tony) and tazing Thor (best day evah), or disdain because she wasn’t a ‘real’ agent. As if, she sniffed.

“Hey, Darcy!” a woman’s voice from behind made her stop and turn. To see Agent Carter. The back stabber who’d been sent by ~Pierce~, the crazy head of Hydra (and Darcy still wasn’t sure if Carter truly hadn’t known or not) to spy on Steve in his own home.

“Agent Carter,” Darcy replied politely, though she’d really rather taze the woman.

“Can we talk?” the blonde asked earnestly.

“About..?” Darcy drawled. She studied the other woman curiously. Carter was impeccable as always, her long fall of blonde hair sleek without any flyaways (how did she do that? Not that Darcy was gonna ask) and her skin tight tactical suit.

Carter glanced around and gestured for Darcy to head into one of the several gyms in the Avenger’s tower. This one looked like it was used for classes or something. (ha, like Darcy would know, she avoided exercise like the plague.)

“I want you to stop hanging out with Captain Rogers,” Carter told Darcy firmly.

Darcy stared. “Um, what?”

Carter huffed impatiently. “I mean it, Darcy. He’s going to be mine anyway, so don’t waste your time.”

“Going to be yours ~anyway~,” Darcy parroted, puffing out a breath before giggling. “How very Mean Girls of you, Carter. What, are you a legacy date? Your poor aunt lost him in World War II so now you get to have him because it’s your, what, destiny?”

“I mean it, Darcy. Back the fuck off,” Carter practically growled, her face turning red in the face of Darcy’s giggly disbelief.

“Fuck you, Agent Carter,” Darcy retorted, suddenly done with the high school behavior of the other woman. “For someone who spied on Steve IN HIS OWN HOME, as ordered by that backstabbing Hydra monster, you have no ‘rights’ to him. I don’t care if you’re the daughter of Bucky Barnes! Steve is an adult and can make his own damn choices. Also, bite me bitch,” Darcy finished, turning to head out of the gym angrily.

As she turned Carter grabbed her tightly by the elbow and Darcy yanked her arm away, snatched the tazer out of her pocket, spun and tazed the other agent in one continuous move. She looked down at the woman twitching on the floor and shook her head. “How very Regina George of you, Carter.”

She shook her hair out of her face, adjusted her glasses, huffed out a breath and walked out the door into the hallway. “J-man, you probably ought to call medical.”

JARVIS, his voice steady as ever, though Darcy could detect a note of amusement. “Right away, Ms. Lewis.”

“Nice job, doll,” an amused voice behind her said and she jumped and shrieked.

Bucky Barnes was standing there, red henley lovingly covering muscled arms that were folded across his chest. Good Thor almighty, she loved working in the tower.

“Were you standing there the whole time?” she asked as she headed away, the med team coming out of the elevator and she was enough of a coward to be away from the scene of the ‘crime’. Bucky fell into step with her

“Nah, I was in the lab with Stevie when Jarvis activated one of the screen things. We watched the whole thing, though I don’t understand the Regina George reference.”

Only mildly mortified at having been caught tazing a SHIELD agent, Darcy shook her head. “Mean Girls is the next movie for movie night. There is a whole genre of terrible teen behavior for you and Steve to discover.”

Bucky snorted. “I don’t think I’ll be surprised at what teens can do. I did go to high school you know,” he said and followed her into Jane’s lab, where Steve lurked all pink faced and hunch shouldered.

“Darcy, I’m sooo…”

Darcy held up a hand to stop Steve in his tracks. “Shut up. Seriously. Whatever teenaged dream Carter has of you doesn’t have any effect on our friendship or where ever this is going.”

Bucky chuckled, “I told ya, punk. Darcy is made of sterner stuff.”

“Now,” she flapped her hands at both men, “shoo. I’ve got to transcribe Tony’s notes because I swear his handwriting is identical to chickens having seizures and using their feet to dance across the notebook.”

“Yeah, no. I’m hanging out in case Steve’s stalker decides you’ve not fallen in with her plans and tries something more serious,” Bucky said, planting himself firmly on a lab stool.

“Yeah, no,” Darcy shot back. “J-man can keep an eye on me. Don’t over react.”

“Excuse me,” JARVIS broke in. “Agent Carter is requesting that Ms. Lewis be detained. She claims Ms. Lewis attacked her.”

Both Bucky and Steve’s faces made Darcy laugh. “Oh no, boys. I’ll handle this. Where am I supposed to go, J?”

“You will be escorted to Ms. Hill’s office.”

“Oy, thank goodness Janie and Thor are gone,” Darcy said, rolling her eyes. She turned to the men, “It will be fine. You guys go shoot things or whatever, I’ll be back in the lab shortly.” Two agents came to the door, both visibly surprised by Steve and Bucky’s presence and Darcy rolled her eyes again.

“Yeah yeah, I’m coming,” she said and left between the two jackbooted thugs. She sometimes missed the Son of Coul fiercely.

 

Maria huffed an annoyed breath and ignored the chuckles in her ear. “I’m serious. Why the hell do I have to deal with this shit, Pepper? I thought we left high school behind!”

“That’s what we hired you for, though honestly I’m surprised at Agent Carter,” Pepper said from her office. She’d already seen what happened, and Tony was busy laughing his ass off in one of his labs. He had a soft spot for Darcy even though he’d known Carter since she was little.

“You and me both,” Maria said. A knock at her door made her sigh. “I gotta go. Drinks later?”

Pepper snickered, “You bet,” she agreed and ended the call.

“Enter!” Maria barked and the door opened, Agent Carter almost stomping in, face still red and blotchy with either anger or embarrassment, and Darcy, the picture of boredom, followed.  Maria eyed both women. “Well?”

“She attacked me!” Carter snapped.

Darcy raised an eyebrow and reached into her pocket, pulled out a piece of gum  (Maria almost snickered because Carter jerked back, apparently thinking it was the taser), unwrapped it and popped it into her mouth ostentatiously. “Whatever, Regina George.”

“Did you have to tase her?” Maria asked, trying to keep it reasonable, though she wanted to burst into raucous laughter.

“Yes!” Darcy exclaimed, throwing up her hands. “Agent Carter is combat trained! I’m an experienced lab assistant with little to no combat training except self defense. Any guesses how I defended myself?”

Maria kept a straight face with difficulty. “What did you think Agent Carter would do to you?”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “How would I know? She grabbed me so I did what I needed to do.”

Carter opened her mouth but promptly shut it at Hill’s look.

“Whatever. Your punishment will be advanced self defense lessons,” Maria stated.

“Oh, c’mon!” Darcy whined. “Fine, then next time she decides we need to chat I can give her a beat down instead.”

“Oh please,” Carter replied with disdain.  She was smug until Maria looked at her. “And you’re going to be assigned with Agent Romanov for the foreseeable future.”

The blonde agent blanched and Darcy sighed. “Can I go now? I do actually have work to do.”

“Go,” Maria said, “But Carter, you and I are going to have a little chat.”

Darcy fled, relief warring with annoyance about the whole situation. Back in Jane’s lab she buried herself in paperwork, a little smug herself.  It had been pretty satisfying wiping that entitled expression off of Carter’s face.

“Darce?” Steve and Bucky were standing in the door and she rolled her eyes.

“It’s fine, fellas. Hill said my punishment was advanced self defense classes.”

“I’ll teach you,” Bucky said promptly. “Normally I’d say Stevie but you’d roll right over him like the world’s prettiest steam-roller.” Steve turned pink and shoved Bucky.

Shaking her head over the boys, Darcy pointed. “Sounds good. Now, do you guys need anything? If not, shoo.”

“Hail to the Queen of Tasers!” Tony shoved between Steve and Bucky and sauntered into the lab.

“Yeah yeah,” Darcy said and reached over to the printer and gathered the printed pages and thrust them at Tony. “Here, your chicken scratch translated. You know J-man could have done this faster.”

Tony made a face, scratched at his goatee a bit guiltily. “Well, that’s something I haven’t programmed yet. Normally it’s all voice commands. Not that I couldn’t do it!”

“Of course, sir,” JARVIS said dryly. “With your copious free time.” Tony made a face at the ceiling.

Darcy snickered. “Uh huh. Go forth and build your flux capacitor,” she replied.

“Hey, I got that reference!” Steve said brightly, and Darcy and Tony smirked at him.

 

That evening Darcy was tidying up the lab when someone cleared their throat at the door. She looked over and rolled her eyes. “What, Regina.”

Carter made a face. “It’s Agent Carter to you.”

“Stop starring in your own drama and I’ll maybe accord you the respect that the title deserves, but not right now. What do you want?”

“I think that you misunderstood me, earlier I mean,” Carter replied firmly.

Darcy raised an eyebrow. “Enlighten me, Regina.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“I keep pushing your buttons in the vain hope to find the mute,” Darcy snapped.

Carter huffed and pushed back her hair, visibly losing her composure.

“You have no idea about Steve, Darcy.  We have a lot in common, things that you could never understand. Yes, Aunt Peggy loved him, but Steve and I, well, we’re perfect for each other.”

Darcy stared at the obviously earnest woman in front of her.

“Thank you for reminding me why I don’t like you. Please, take your drama elsewhere, Regina.” Darcy turned, plainly showing she was done with the whole conversation.

“I hate you,” Carter spat.

“That’s a shame. I’ll try to remember to pencil it in later for me to cry over, right now I have stuff to do.” Darcy snarked. She grabbed her bag and caught sight of Steve behind the other woman.

“Hey Babe,” Steve said, making Carter jump and spin.

“Hi…” Carter began but Steve moved around her as if she wasn’t there to enter the lab where Darcy was.

“Hi Stevie,” Darcy crooned, playing along and nearly giggled when Steve kissed her cheek.  He’d apparently heard most of the conversation. Bucky moved up to stand behind Carter in the doorway.

“I..” Carter began but stopped when Steve turned and pinned her with the ‘Captain America is Disappointed with You’ ™ look. It was kind of hilarious when it wasn’t being pointed at you.

“Sharon, I barely know you. What makes you think that this kind of thing is attractive?” he asked her, honestly bewildered by the other woman’s behavior.

“We have so much in common! Just give me a chance, ” Sharon protested, reaching out a hand towards Steve, that was ignored, before letting it drop to her side.

Darcy sighed. “Bucky, want some popcorn?  This ‘Reality TV’ episode might take a while.”

“I love popcorn,” Bucky chirped before gently nudging Darcy’s shoulder in remonstrance, making her giggle.

Steve snorted. “ I considered you ~kind~ of a friend, because of Peggy but I’ve never trusted you since Pierce.”

“Oh, burn,” Darcy said. She tilted her head thoughtfully, “Well, you’d have pretty babies.” She straightened and continued hesitantly, like she was being very careful. “IF this were Nazi Germany they’d be the perfect Aryan babies.”

The words dropped like a stone in the room and Steve, Darcy and Bucky all stared at Sharon.  Who went white and threw herself backward, completely forgetting that Bucky was behind her. She immediately tried to pull her weapon and Bucky clocked her in the head with his metal fist, dropping her in a heap.

“J-man, can you call security?” Darcy asked.

Steve shook his head. “JARVIS, please call Natasha and a med team instead. Sharon worked with the security team here so there’s no telling how far they’ve infiltrated.”

Bucky knelt down and opened Carter’s mouth, “No poison. Nat will need to check her over more thoroughly.” He professionally patted her down for weapons and removed four knives, a garrote, two pistols and a baggie of something unidentifiable.

 

Sharon came to, aware of a splitting headache and the Black Widow seated across from her.

“So, playing the long game were you?” Natasha asked mildly.  She was supremely pissed. As pissed as when she found that Stillwell had been Hydra.

“Steve is mine” Sharon said firmly. “We were destined to be together.”

“You know, drugs are bad for you,” Natasha replied with an eyeroll.

“Don’t dismiss me,” Sharon snarled with a sharp smack to the table between them. Her eyes were wild in her face, her mouth twisted.

Nat stood and crossed her arms. “I’m not here to further your delusions, former Agent Carter. Steve Rogers is not attracted to you, especially now, and not ever, and I am emphasizing the word, ‘EVER’ going to be yours.”

With a shriek Sharon threw herself over the table, only to be met with Natasha’s fist and for the second time in day was unconscious.

Darcy shook her head. “Whoo, ticket for one to cuckoo land.”

Steve leaned against Darcy. “Did you get everything done that you wanted today?”

“Not really, why?” Darcy asked, watching impassively as the security team and medics arrived to attend to cray cray Carter.

“Because I’d like to take you out on a real date,” Steve said firmly, which was belied by the absolute nervousness in his wide blue eyes.

Bucky snorted “Real smooth, Rogers. I coulda done better,” he muttered and stepped away with alacrity when Steve made to punch him. “Listen Doll, ~we’d~ like to take you on a date.”

Darcy giggled at the two of them. “Yes, pick me up at 6. Nothing fancy.”

Steve nodded obediently and Bucky grabbed him by the arm. “C’mon Casanova, let’s look at the old people crap you have in your closet. We might have to shop.”

Steve scoffed at his friend but his eyes were on Darcy and her smile. “Like you’ve ever gone shopping since you’ve been back. JARVIS orders your clothes and everything is black.”

Bucky put Steve in a headlock and dragged his protesting buddy to the elevator while lecturing him on ‘oh, how wrong you are, old buddy, old pal’. Both men very aware of Darcy watching them go.

Darcy turned to see a very groggy Carter on the stretcher, restrained foot, chest and arms. “Oh Regina ,if I have my way? Both of them will be mine,” she said with a smirk and headed after the two men.

 

Memorial Day-ignore the timelines of the Avengers Movies. I do.

 

Darcy stopped outside of the gym, watching as Steve and Bucky sparred. It was like fucking poetry in motion.  After about 5 minutes they both grunted and stepped back, and Bucky caught sight of Darcy .

“Hey Doll, did ya need something?” He grabbed a bottle of sports drink and guzzled it.

Steve wiped his face with a towel, his blue eyes intent on her.  “Hey Darcy, everything okay?”

Darcy smiled at them. They were both such sweeties but flirting wasn’t on the agenda right then.

“Hey fellas, I wanted to see if you were busy on Memorial Day?”

Bucky glanced over at Steve in confusion and Steve clarified, “Decoration Day.”

“Ah,” Bucky said in understanding. “Why are you asking?”

Darcy took a deep breath. “My brother died last year in Iraq. Roadside bomb. I’m going to Arlington to visit and wanted to know if you guys were going already?”

“Oh Darcy, I’m so sorry,” Steve made to hug her but realized he was sweaty at the last moment.

Swallowing hard against tears, Darcy opened her arms. “Get in here, big lug. I don’t get enough hugs to turn one away,” she teased.

Steve folded her gently in his arms and Bucky put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly.  After a long minute he pulled back, “I hadn’t planned on going but would be honored to come with you. Do you want me in uniform?”

Darcy smiled, surreptitiously wiping her eyes on the cuff of her blouse. Normally she carried a Kleenex in her bra but she didn’t expect to tear up all of the sudden.

“Up to you, big guy,” she said.

Bucky sighed. “I’m sorry about your brother, doll. What did he do?”

“He was a forward observer,” she said, and smiled at the look of confusion on their handsome faces. “He called in artillery and air support for his squad. He was great at it, never got a danger close,” Darcy explained proudly.

Both men nodded in understanding. 

"Tony is letting me borrow a plane, so I'll swing by and grab you, okay?" They watched as their favorite gal took a big breath, visibly holding her emotions in check. 

"Of course, doll. We'll be ready," Steve affirmed. 

 

The cemetery was framed by a big blue sky studded with wispy clouds, and the green of the immaculately groomed grass and trees. 

Darcy ignored the various Memorial Day services as she picked her way through the graves, a knowledge in her walk as she would stop occasionally and pat the top of a stone and continue. After about 15 minutes she stopped, her dark blue dress swirling around her ankles and Bucky and Steve stopped with her. It was an obviously newer section of Arlington, the headstones stark white.  

Out of her purse she pulled out a lego Star Wars figure and knelt down to place it in front of the headstone. She settled in, oblivious to what the damp grass was doing to her dress, absently straightening the small American flag that had been placed on all of the graves. 

The stone had a Jewish star and carved out carefully was 'Sgt. Bryan J. Lewis 4 April 1993-20 April 2016' U.S. Army  'Observe Everything, Admire Nothing'.

Bucky laughed softly as he crouched down beside Darcy, his fingers brushing over the words. "I get it." 

Darcy smiled and sighed. "He loved that miniseries. Got me hooked on it too. I thought it was appropriate." 

Steve removed his cover and knelt down on the other side, his gold head shining in the sunlight. "Tell me something silly about Bryan," he said. 

"Ugh, where do I start?" Darcy groaned good-naturedly. She put a hand on Bryan's name and laughed, "Well, this one time..." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
